Friday, March 28, 2008

Internal tantrums

I've found, over the course of my parenting career (which is not yet an extensive one), that God uses it to teach us about Himself and about our relationship with Him. This week I had one of those aha! sort of moments along these lines.
Sometimes Keaton asks for things- OK, often Keaton asks for things. And often it's food. (He's quite a hungry little dude usually.) So let's use that as an example. It's snack time, and he asks for some raisins. OK. I give him some raisins. That's something I can say yes to.
Sometimes, though, he asks for something we're eating that he can't have. We say no, and Keaton screams and cries and throws a fit. We still have to say no, not because we're mean parents or we don't love him, but because we do love him and don't want him to choke. And besides that, we don't want him to learn that throwing a fit gets you what you want.
So the other day, Keaton was throwing a fit over something- I don't even remember what- and I thought to myself, "That's how I am with God sometimes." I want something, He doesn't give it to me, and I throw a fit. I don't cry and pound my fists like Keat does; it's usually just an internal sort of tantrum (but a tantrum nonetheless). I just get frustrated and impatient. I seem to forget sometimes that God knows better than I do what is best for me, just like a parent knows better than the child does what is best for him. I get bogged down in the thought that I want something and I want it now. I don't understand how God doesn't see that He should give it to me.
I guess that's just it... I don't understand. I have to remember that there are lots of things I don't understand. But I can have confidence that God knows what is best for me- that He knows when to give me what I want and when what I want isn't actually what's best for me. If only I could abide in that sort of faith. That's what I'm aiming for.
Lord, help me to learn from my pouting child:)

1 comment:

Farrah said...

It is amazing how being a parent highlights so many things about our own lives and how we are with our Father. It is so humbling, in many ways. :) Thanks for this reminder.